P.S.

the girl is also worried about having a nose twitching breakdown and going crazy and running down a major street butt naked ..lol but she rrreeeeaaalllllyyyy hopes that dosent happen to many people know that ass !!!! god im so weird !! and also are there any people out there that still just let u vent without the convo turning into them ? plus i want ice cream. and a hott bath. and a fuckin stress free life!! oh u know what would be awesome if i had a fairy godmother then i could aske for anything i want. what would u ask for if u had a fairy godmother ? thats a good one. i'd ask for a new job. to live a sweet life with the one i am just crazy about. and good sex for the rest of my life. cause in allies book good sex is a must . and healty kids , beautiful healhty kids. and a nanny. AND AS IF LIFE COULD NOT JUST GET WORSE MY FUCKIN KITCHEN CATCHES ON FIRE !!!! 1ST THE BUTTER NOW THIS.. THANKS ALOT FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!!!!!!!

there once was a girl ......

there once was a girl who was so tired of her life she felt like ending it. she felt like as the days go by her world is just crumbling down to nothing. this poor girl feels like shes stuck at the bottom of a dark cold damp well screaming for help and no one is even bothering to look. and that one person who reaches out there hand to help she cant reach cause her demons are pulling her away.

there once as a girl who was so depressed about every single thing in her life she was afraid to see what the next day held for her. so afraid that if one more thing went wrong it would allow her to swallow one more pill or cut a little deeper.

shes so suprised at the fact she can smile to everyone and tell them shes fine but deep down shes dying or is already dead. how she dreams every night of her mother and waking up the next day hoping that mom would call and comfort her like she did when she was younger. only to wake up and let days go by without nothing.

this poor girl needs help.. the only one who can help her is herself but how can she help herself when shes ready to give up and die.

Sometimes things just bite u in the ass !!

Life is but a bowl of cherries people. Or was Forrest right when he said life is like a box of chocolates... U never know what ur gonna get. Shit sucks for allie, and she just cant wait till it all gets better. I saw something that hurt me today. And my reaction was very suprising. And as much as it hurt im still gonna be happy damnit and clap my hands * clap clap *..lol ah im such a nut. That's whats so kick ass about me but at the same time my weakness. the way i can just " oh well" shrug things off but deep down I know it kills me. I really need to learn how to express my feelings better. But oh well that's allie's life for now I guess .

on a different note work.. Good lord I wanna choke that Jamaican!! So I get there and tell Maria that I want to leave early cause its my sons b day. And she's jumps in and says I wanna leave early too. So as soon as Mrs. henney gets there she's hits her up and says she wants to leave early ..blah blah blah so Mrs. henney says yes. And I was thinkin damn now I have to stay. So I wait like 5 mins and then I ask her and she says yes, but then she gives me hell "what did I tell u about leaving early ? You have to let me know before hand like weeks before " being a total its okay for Maria to leave but not allie ? And then time goes by were talking hours and then I hear that bitch say oh allie just found out it was her sons birthday. Like Michael Jackson she wanna be startin somethin ! So I fuckin had it. Went into her office and said u got a problem ? ..LOL she was like no and I said look I thought out the kindness of ur heart u would understand and let me leave a lil early. I could of requested the day off but I choose not to. But if its a problem I will stay.
and that was that. fuck everyone. The day is approaching and I just cant wait .... Its gonna be so sweet for me. What is the day what day am I talking about. The day I say fuck every last single person that's involved in my life.. LOL and I mean everyone. But not u..LOL well yes u and u know who u are but the others no...LOL

I love my blue pen

This is truly sad but at the same time I am proud cause I am very forgetful and I lose everything but for the past 2 months I have held on to this blue pen. And its not just any old blue pen its like a really pretty navy blue.. kinda I don't know how to describe it but its nice. But this is the kicker about it its say in white pretty writing Didi Hirsch CMHC and has the number. Its a Community Mental health Clinic . Leave it me to have it and hold it for that long and when ever anyone sees it or uses it there like aww that a cool pen and when they see that damn didi name they look at me funny and are like ohhh what are u doing with this. I got it from some chick passing them out.

lmao work just gets better and better !!!!

so this morning was fuckin so funny it just gets better and better LOL well no I'm lying its not getting better and better but this shit was tooo funny. Okay so I had only an hour into my day and Mrs henney arrives and I am on the phone with another dr's office trying to schedule an appointment for a patient when some old Jamaican couple comes in. No I guess to make money on the side or as she claims just being nice and helping people from her hood ( Jamaica) she helps them with there immrgration issues.

so in comes the little couple and I guess he mailed off his passport to immrgration office so he needs a new one. Well his wife was a trip she was walking around with a bible and as soon as she comes in she starts trippin on Mrs. henney. And so Mrs. henny puts her on check a lil bit but im not really there cause I'm on fuckin hold for what seems like forever.

so they all walk out of her office and she gets on the phone near the reception window and she's speaking to someone on the phone. And then I hear the lady jump up and say that's a lie. She scared the hell out of me and this lady is getting all up in henney's face telling her shies a liar and so henney is all up in hers and tells her lady please sit down and shut the fuck up but the other lady keeps going on and Mrs henny yells at the top of her lungs just shut the fuck up woman !!

shut ur stupid ass up and shies yelling it over and over again and im cracking up and finally Mrs. henny is like get the fuck out my building. So she goes the y settle what ever it was that needed to be settled.

so later on that day a patient calls in to make an appointment. Now he sounded a lil fruity but I didn't pay any mind. So I get his name and its Michael. So I do what needs to be done. And I hang up, Maria asks me who was that and I said some dude named Michael and she tells me no its Karina and IM like no Michael thinkin maybe shes thinkin of his sister and she said no its Michael but he goes by Karina and she goes on to tell me that hes a she aka transvestite and im thinkin yay!! and she tells me about how he as gone in there with skirts and pink wigs. So I'm really looking forward to seeing this one tomorrow.

Another weird Sunday

This Sunday that just passed was pretty active for me. In the afternoon there was a festival on a major street here in LAO that they through every year for the people in my area. So I decided to take the kids. We had lots of fun the highlight of the day was seeing Julius jump in the jumper it was funny because he's so little compared to the other kids. At one point he was jumping and having a good time and a bigger kid came and was jumpin next to him and he flew so high in the air ...LOL I was cracking up.

I got my card read for a local physic named Helena ( I love that name ) . Now call me a sucker but I am totally inot the whole physic and paranormal thing I cant get enough of it. So she asks me to think of 3 things that have been troulbing me, and I do now she has me pick 3 cards. She tells me that my aura a dull grey and that's very bad. And its true I have been feeling down lately so she gives me this body wash to use that she made with all her junk I guess. Also there is a lot of negativity around me and that 2 people are bringing me down and that she can look into her big ass candle and tell me their names and all there info.. LOL I cant wait for that I told her that I will go in next week to find this out. I know who one is but the other I have no fuckin clue. Also she says she connects with spirits of people who have passed on. And I really want to see who comes through. I am just curious.

Sunday evening was our annual get together at the rainbow on sunset strip right next to the rosy. For one of my most beautiful and lovely friend gabby. We had fun but me and Sofia got there kinda early (10:00pm) and so we only stayed for a while and the took off. And we hit the usual spot the tattle tale.... LOL several vodka tonic's, jack n cokes and even a Cisco we headed to jack n the box . And I have to stop waiting so long to blog about these stores cause then I forget everything. Oh well tho

Damned all to hell !!

so on Friday just a few minutes shy of finally getting away from the jamaicans the phone rings and I hear Maria ( the chick who works there and sometimes annoys the hell out of me ) say oh no are u serious !! And I am thinking okay family emergency? LOL guess again allie. As if my life were not as fucked up as is at the moment, there was a mix up with to lab cultures. Now for those of u who don't know what a culture is , it's when the doctors swabs u throat or a opened wound. Well because I was in such a hurry to go I guess somehow these to patients cultures got mixed up and created all this drama and took about a week to get it all back and it was a pin in the ass . Work is a pain in the ass this lady has issues.. LOL evil ppl and this is the end of the work blog.

simple kind life

For a long time I was in love

Not only in love I was obsessed

With a friendship that no one else could touch

It didn’t work out, I’m covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things

A simple kind of life

And all I needed was a simple man

So I could be a wife

I’m so ashamed, I’ve been so mean

I don’t know how it got to this point

I always was the one with all the love

You came along, I’m hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight

And all I wanted was the simple thingsA simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time

Would it start all over again?Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I’d be a mom Sometimes I wish for a mistake

The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get

You seem like you’d be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life

How’d I get so faithful to my freedom? A selfish kind of life

When all I ever wanted was the simple things A simple kind of life