I really don't know where to begin with this post. So much has happened since I blogged last. I guess I can start with my wonderful time at the airport and work my way from there.


Now of all the days for everything to go wrong. I had bought my tickets for a direct flight to Austin, I didn't want to go through all the hassle of having to switch planes with two kids it would just be too much to handle. I cant remember when my flight from LAX left that morning I think 11:30 am. I guess when traveling with bags that u need to check u have to be there and checked in at a certain time. My luck I was one minute over that time. And all because of fuckin parking !!!

So I couldn't get on my flight so we were put on stand by. Well we were at the airport since 10:30 am and we finally got on a plane around 3:40pm and with 2 kids I was dying. So the new plan was fly from L.A. to Dallas/fort worth and then from there fly to Austin. But it didn't work out that way. A part of the plane was not working because it was so cold so they had to replace it and it was going to take about an hour. Then to top it off the plane had ice on it and they had to send it to some part of the runway to get it off but there were about 30 other planes waiting also. By this time I was thinking okay how many more signs do I need that this is not a good idea.


So we got there around 12:30 am tired and cold the roads were icy. I have never seen anything like it in my whole life. Went to bed. Woke up the next morning and went to our new apartment. My kids loved it and they warmed up to Tony pretty quick. I knew they would like him. But I was extremely shocked when they would ask if he could spend the night.

So for the moment all was well. Well not really. Everyone back in cali was trying to talk me into coming back. Then all the drama started to go down. Alex ( the father of my kids) was giving me hell. Calling me all the time telling me to bring them back. That I was going to sink him into depression. Now I had to look at it from his point of view. And if that was me I would of gone crazy. So I knew where he was coming from. One night we had a conversation that maybe the kids should stay with him until I had the baby. So I told him I would think about it. So I had decided that it would be best. I mean my mom is out there all of hazel's friends and everything they have ever known. But at the same time I was dying cause there my babies and I cant live without them. So I got an extra week with them and then Alex came out here and got them.


Now talk about going insane. I miss them I never thought I could miss something so much. And to make it worse as soon as the asshole got what he wanted he back to acting like the true dick he has always been. Lately I have hardly talked to them. I have had one major breakdown since they left and many more but I'm pretty good and keeping my emotions in place. But the truth is I really don't know how much more I can handle. When I think of them I can only hear one thing that my ex sister in law told me A little girl needs her mother. And to make it worse when I did talk to Julius my son he asked me where I was and I told him I was at home he replies ur not at home home is here with me I need you mommy come home. My god those words killed me. My choice is a simple one I'm going back to cali and Tony is just going to have to come with or stay here. But either way nothing is stopping me from going back. As long as my kids are there I am going. and to put the cherry on top of this fucked up cake I have to go through all these emotions while I'm pregnant.

But on a happier note I'm pregnant !!! And I'm loving that I am here with Tony were having a good time. We heard the baby's heartbeat the other day and I couldn't of been more happier that everything is so far okay with the baby. Plus this baby is always moving and I enjoy feeling it move around. But sometimes it can get annoying. We already have the names picked out if its a girl her name is going to be kaci Rebecca but Rebecca spelled differently. The middle name is after my sister. And if its a boy its going to be Dylan milo. I'm feeling milo and I hope I spelled it right.

Now work uggghhh !!! My boss called me out of the blue one day and was like hey would u bill for me if u can access the site so I did and I could and I got a fax set up so she could fax me some bills and she's has yet to do it. I need money, plus I need something to do she's going through an audit right now so she's busy. But damn it's getting annoying and wasting my time!!!!! And to top it off she has her daughter billing and she's doing it all wrong . Every claim she's submits is being denied.

So thats it for now. Sort of catches up to where I am now. ther is more but I hate doing long posts so I will save the rest for later.