Quick update

I haven't blogged in a while. Funny thing is I just updated on Thursday night and was completely done and was just about to hit the publish button when the chick that sits next to me hits the computer switch that controls hers and mine off. It was a long blog too. One bout all the drama and everything new going on with me. And I am just to lazy to do it all over again. So I'm just going to blog about the way I am feeling.


considering everything that has been happening these past 2 or 3 weeks I have every right to feel the way I am feeling. It just seems that everything gets worse. Like there's never going to be a silver lining to my cloud. I am truly depressed. And I hate feeling this way. Although my biggest stress of my life was lifted off my shoulders it is still very much there. Just maybe 2 pounds lighter but from that 50 extra pounds are now on my shoulders ...LOL leave it to me to come up with some stupid shit that makes no sense. I was here in the house today 1st day off in what seems like forever and I was thinking about everything and I wonder is everything really worth it ? eaning is my life really worth anything ? So here I am looking at it from every angle thing of thing I have done in the past & present and wondering what the future holds and thinking about how things have become pretty routine for me. Something that I hate. I don't know what it is but I am in such a down mood very unhappy and gloomy.

I noticed that lately I have been very worried about my health too. Maybe it has to do with seeing and hearing people with their health issues that has me so worried about mine. I really don't know. I guess IM not to sure about anything anymore. I just have to wait and see how things go and what direction I want to go in and how to get there. LOL if there was a way u could take a brak from ur self I would jump on it. I just hate being in these kind of moods and I hope to get out of it before it gets worse. But I'm no jackass well I take that back I am a jackass but I am not a stupid one. I would never hurt myself.