As sad as I can ever be

And pissed off too. There is the ever long battle with the Ex on how I can be a bad parent and not "do my part" as far as paying him any form of child support.. Lets keep in mind that I just got back into the swing of things as far as working goes. And it is half way true that I should be busting my ass to make things work.

But the ultimate heartbreak for me is hearing my son tell me he has a new mom now because I'm not around. I can't even begin to explain this. There is no words. all I can say is that it makes me feel like I have failed. I am a terrible mother.

I have to walk on egg shells all because I'm worried that and have been told that I will not be able to talk to my kids anymore.

It's a situation that completely blows. No surprise why i feel the way I do sometimes.

And the one person who should be sticking by my side and making me feel better totally disses me by telling me my ex still owns me and doesn't talk to me. Telling me to fight and then a few months eariler tells me there's no point in fighting. confusing ? Very! Not understanding that in a flash he can keep my babies away from me. whats even more painful is the lack of support I am getting from him. He can see plain as day that something like this kills me. And he chooses to watch I love New York instead of comfort me really makes me lose respect for him. If it was him that was going through this I would be by his side drying his tears telling him it's ok. Points lost.. respect lost.

I'm hurt in more ways than one. I thank my mom for calling me and trying to cheer me up. She may not have been there in the past and our relationship mtight be crappy but she came tho for me tonight

LEAVE THE FUCKIN TOILET SEAT DOWN!!

Or at least put the damn seat down once your done!! i can't even begin to stress how annoying it is to wake up at 3 am and fall into the toilet all because SOMEONE cant be nice and remember to put it back down !!

what is the deal with men and toilet seats.. one of these days i hope you fall in there and get ur ass all wet with nasty toilet water !!



so if ur a guy and you happen to stumble upon this please be nice to a girl and

PUT THE SEAT DOWN !!

I'm really hating blogger !!!

I am Trying to work on fixing It up and doing my page on my own ..BUT it confuses me my space seems so much easier, you know its sad when Tony can out design me... god i need to stop competing with that kid.

So here i am frustrated and wanting to give up. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO!!! i will fix it up and it will look all pretty.. so if it looks like shit when you come across it, sorry folks

Why is it that I always get attacked ??

Seriously? What the hell ! All the other blogs I visit never have spam on there's. Why am i so unlucky? I attract the weird.. story of my life..


ANYHOW..................

Happy New Year !!


Got a new job.. yup it sucks, from day one I knew my new co worker would get on my nerves. She's 58 and very annoying, a drama queen who recently tried to start shit. shes old and slow, I'm a very fast and organized worker.

Friday she tells me we can't leave the office until everything is done. I told her no worries I am pretty much caught up and with a nasty attitude she tells me I don't think you understand me. I told her I did and I stick by what I said I will be done.

so what does she do run and tell the doctor I'm not being a team player.. of course i get a lecture from the doctor. how she wants no talking behind peoples back and she wants us all to get along... ugh people... I'm just going to stop here no need to get worked up..

let me vent why she annoying

1st all she does is talk talk talk...


2nd shes slow.

3rd it takes her 20 mins to make an appointment cause she has to tell patients that a doctor removed the gland that makes her vagina moist..FUCKIN GROSS!! NO ONE wants to hear about a 58 year olds vagina let alone hers !!!

she just sucks !!!!!